epidural.
I feel nothing.
skintiments
are like
a jigsaw puzzle;
I cannot interlock myself
<———————-back
—->to that copious landscape
where mad cows &
blind crows came to
graze and perch upon;
& once upon
I was that
unvarying pain
reflecting
off your tongue
where you spat
tears of saliva
’cause you refused
to irrigate my bushes;
you are numb inside,
so you say, then you say,
I’m a tokophobic
’cause e-v-e-r-y-thing
you deposit in me
there seems to always be
that jewel encrusted scalpel
assembling upon my virgin flesh
resembling
slut digging maggots;
burdens
terminated,
excavated,
disposed
in a doggy
bag;
then you say
you’re empty
inside,
then you
have a cigarette,
change the channel
on the HD
as if your fucking misery
is all my fucking fault.
but
& still
I feel nothing.
just like those
“in-labor” mothers
giving birth
to fucks
like you.
Poem #36…(thank you Frankie Valli)
.and big girls don’t cry.
whiskey
diamond
teardrops
plunge eternally
from my cunt ~
she weeps bittersweet
for you;
I’m 80% proof
[20% denial]
that my clit
is capable
of moving heaven
without
the gentle fondles
of your tongue and
fingers ~
‘big girls don’t cry’, so you once said
when you left me
desperately
suckling your cum’s residue
off my heartbroken tits;
the twins miss the subtle
of your hands and
mouth;
and ‘big girls don’t cry’,
I dare to echo you ~
I wish you could see me now,
how disappointed
you’d be
sinking me
to a level
of no shame.
a Woman with a Gun
I am a woman with a gun
dead end eyes,
severed reflections
beautiful, I am
cunning, you are
and wise we are not
I roll the dice
and cast your fate
with Heaven to greet you
at Hells gate
as I lie down here beside you
-blood cells spilling like diamonds-
I am reminded
that without my gun
I am just an ordinary woman-
disassembling
and that without your gun
you are nothing more
but an ordinary man-
dying
~^.^~Black Cat~^.^~
Cat.
Black Cat.
Crossing the street, Cat.
Cat.
Black Cat hisses!
Tires screech.
Rubber burns.
Smoke clears.
I didn’t miss him by an inch.
Cat.
Black Cat.
Not just another
Dead in the street, Cat.
Cat.
Black Cat.
You should have never broken my heart, Cat.
Black Dandelions
Dandelions,
though you thought me beautifully evasive,
Dandelions
smother and choke
their counterparts;
Dandelions
know no boundaries
they only know they exist as I exist;
You hand her Dandelions
tied in your mother’s favorite silk ribbon;
I wilt
at the sight of your black blasphemy
because you loved me once
Who would’ve thought your blackheart charm
would soil seeds after you bled them
then buried them, dry?
——REVOLVER—–
the Revolver spins
6x’s before
i’m elected,
gunpowder coke
chokes my grasp,
as the chamber
clicks, my brain spits
matter to dust
and thus
creates the sunburst
on the wall
behind the man
in the crisp white suit;
beyond his soul
is my soul smeared
in colors of bluebloods
surrounding petals
on a white Gardenia
pinned in her bedroom hair;
and there she sits naked
on her boudoir chair,
her snatch the color
of the sunburst on the wall
behind the man
in the crisp white suit;
he smiles and hands me
a gold plated vile,
it’s been awhile
since the last i gripped her hair
and sunk her slugs to oblivion;
the red of her pained lips
seep blood into my mouth,
and her skin is soft white
like a light bulb,
her body delicate
like the vase once housing
the Gardenia;
her eyes having read Hitler
she speaks in tongues confessing
our sins upon holy Mary and Joseph
as they close and shrivel
in silence
around the Revolver
in his hand
Deflower
I am a flower
I am beautiful in your eyes
I smell of everything you lust
above me,
beneath me,
behind me,
you break me
like the stem
once holding the flower
Desperaturbia
Clipping toenails scatter
in the
sink
My anxiety
needs to
rethink
desperately of us
Your cigarette butt ashes
embed on my
tongue
And your black market
perfume reeks
of maggot
beauty
Constant
no one knows this pain,
constant
breaking this broken heart,
indiscriminately
in a fetal position I lie,
a perfect picture of heartbreak
weeping
drowning
waning
dying
in infinite misery,
torn apart
ripped apart
stepped on
trampled on
I am the lingering aromatic
of loves once true love
before he died inside of me
still brings about an absolute suffering;
and no matter how many times
someone says it’s going to be alright
they don’t understand the vacant hole
residing in the center of my soul
and how it refuses to mend
broken
vagrant
violent
empty
I am
DIVA of DARKNESS 